Tag: sexting

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Keeping It Safe On The Internet

For this week’s blog, I have adapted our October 24, 2019 entry, as it is still as relevant now as it was then and with so much emphasis on staying safe on the internet this week, it makes sense to reflect.

Here we go….  Lots to be said about internet safety. Our  podcast featuring Charlotte Aynsley, e-safety pioneer and expert,  sheds a whole lot of light on the topic as do many other platforms.  Last year, I attended an inaugural lecture of a law professor at King’s College, London, who talked about the importance of Internet Regulation the world over.

But here is the thing, is the message really sinking in, particularly with our teenagers?

After all the Internet is the global hangout, full of wonderful opportunities. What could go wrong? Back in the summer of last year, I actually heard a young boy say something to that nature—why would it be on the Internet if it is bad—and according to On Internet Safety guest Aynsley, this child is not the only one who thinks that way. There are many children growing up believing that everything on the Internet is true and right.

Though this might sound naïve, it makes a whole lot of sense to the young person whose internet experience is all positive until it isn’t. In the UK, the legal age for having a social media account is 13, though about 24% of children have accounts when they are 10 and twice as many when they turn 12.

A few years ago, a hysterical acquaintance shared that her underage daughter was asked to undress over the Internet.  But thankfully it was all curtailed before any damage was done. But what if it hadn’t been stopped.

Sadly, everyone’s story doesn’t have the same ending as my acquaintance’s daughter had, and mainly because few teenagers are aware of the emotional and mental impact that sharing sexually explicit images can have on them, their friends or others or that sexting, as it is called, is criminal if you are under the age of 18. 

Admittedly, this issue is not being policed as strictly as it could be, Aynsley points out, but all the same, consequences can lead to emotional and mental unrest and cause dire consequences for the future.

Another top issue that holds problems for teenagers online is body image, which impacts  girls disproportionately. The pressure on them to be perfect and happy all the time, as told to us by our two teen girls in On Being A Teen Girl Now, is magnified on social media.  Through polished selfies, this aim for perfection goes well beyond looks and enters how our teen girls are feeling about themselves.

Hence the rise in mental health issues amongst this age group. The key is education, Aynsley says and points out that transparency and honest and real life role models and experiences are of paramount importance.

And this honesty doesn’t just rest with the teenagers themselves, it has to live with parents and guardians, social media companies, the government, the police, everyone.

Staying safe on the internet, which can be a wonderful place, requires a joint effort to not only be aware of the problems stacked against us, particularly children and teenagers, but also be willing to tackle the issues.

The good news is that our podcast clears up the confusion around these tough topics and offers teenagers and their guardians practical tools and tips on the matters.  Listen to On Internet Safety on Apple podcasts and other platforms where podcasts are played.

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UIO Launches Wait Awhile For Teenage Girls

UIO, the podcast for teen girls, launched our  Wait Awhile initiative, to encourage teenage girls to slow down and reclaim their teenage years to avoid unnecessary regrets. For years now, I have watched the world of teenage girls change rather radically.  I had suspected for some time that due to modern day pressures, girls were being sexualised earlier and earlier, narrowing the gap between being a girl and a woman.

Our Wait Awhile survey not only confirms my concerns but also reveals the hidden story behind the trend that is seeing an increase in pressures such as sexting, tattooing, cosmetic surgery and missing out on real life experiences and often with regret.

In our news regularly now, we are hearing and seeing tragic stories about self-harm and even suicide. Much of the pressure does come from social media but social media does not happen in a vacuum.  Teenage girls tell me that this notion of being perfect and happy all the time is impossible to live up to on and offline and to try, whether it is by filtering photographs online or trying to fit into an uncomfortable space offline, requires great compromise and can therefore cause unprecedented stress and anxiety.

UIO, through our podcasts and our Wait Awhile initiative, want to relieve girls of this undue pressure. Admittedly, the teen years have always been a challenge but the modern day pressures for girls are unprecedented.

We want to hear from you–teen girls and have provided a platform on our page for you to talk about your experiences, tell us how we can help and how others can help, too.  One thing we are already doing is supporting The Telegraph’s statutory duty of care effort to be imposed on social media companies to better protect children from online harms, as related to teenage girls.

Keep watching this space for more on Wait Awhile, you can follow us on Twitter (@uiowaitawhile). And if you missed it, you can catch up with my recent BBC television appearance on the Victoria Derbyshire show on 23rd April 2019 via iplayer until mid-May.  As always, it is all about you, the teenage girl.

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Pressures More Penalising For Today’s Teens

There are some things that are better left in childhood—the way that we mismanage anger, our sole dependence on others to care for us and causing or being subjected to peer pressure just to name a few.

Unfortunately, there is not always a clean break from our growing pains. Peer pressure, in particular, follows us around like a shadow well into old age. I suppose the older we get, the less peers we have. Still there are days, even in my middle age, when peer pressure stares me in the face like the bully it can often be. Nowadays, I have a better handle on saying no and declining experiences that make me uncomfortable but admittedly when I was a teenager, it wasn’t as easy.

And way back when I was a teenager, the pressures, though intense, seemed less punishing. There was pressure to smoke, to cut school, to have sex, just some of the pressures that are handed down through the ages. But nowadays there are loads of new pressures, owing to our modern technology and perhaps shift in mores in society. Let’s face it, our obsessions with our mobile devices, for example, blindfolds us to some of the unnecessary pressures heaped upon children and teens, for example.

The idea of being on all the time is unrealistic to say the least from both a mental and physical health perspective and when we falter at something because we can’t get it right all the time, wouldn’t it be nice to falter in privacy. How refreshing!

Still the pressures of joining in high risk activities are on the rise. For example, I don’t remember ever hearing about sexting, the act of disrobing for the camera, when I was a teen. If it was around, it certainly was never referred to as the norm. People likely saw it for what it was and still is, an illegal activity that carries heavy penalties for both those pushing it and those succumbing to it.

Nowadays, however, the pressure on teens to participate in sexting has become an epidemic in some areas, according to a BBC report. But here is the thing, most teens, girls and boys, alike probably don’t know that this dangerous game is actually illegal. It is not just a moral choice that you make, and though you might regret it, you get on with life. It scars and penalises well into adulthood, not to mention the pain and upset that it causes when it actually happens. A teen girl in a recent BBC story makes it very clear that sexting can never amount to anything good. It made her feel like she was in a zoo.

Sexting destroys lives, full stop, as does other experiences that teen girls are often coerced into as a norm. Thankfully, people in positions to do something about sexting, for example, are waking up to this reality and trying to crack down on it.

The truth is, there are many good reasons to stop and think before engaging in anything uncomfortable, immoral and illegal that you might regret sooner and certainly later in life.

To this end, UIO has a special treat coming up for teen girls that supports putting the brakes on (out later this month), even if everyone else around you seems to be parachuting into adulthood. In the meantime, listen to Episode 10: Peer Pressure Inside Out with Natalie Savvides, for tips on saying no and declining things that you don’t want to do. And do keep an eye on this space for our exciting new initiative, which is all about you.